Have A Mean Green Halloween

Everyone on this blog likes Chuck. If it weren’t for him, we wouldn’t be here, and since Halloween is just days away, here’s an easy project.

Print out the image below, full size on heavy stock. Don’t worry that the image is distorted; once you wrap it around your face, you’ll look exactly like Charles Johnson.

With an X-Acto blade, trim on the dotted lines and cut out the eyes. Cut the slit at the mouth, and cut underneath the nose. Crease the nose on the black dotted lines.  Get some lizard-green ribbon and thread it through the sides of the mask. Tie the ribbon just tight enough to give you a headache.

That’s all there is to it!

Now you can be a pain in the ass for the rest of the night. Bring a 2-inch diameter wood dowel with you and call it your banning stick. Bid longtime friends “Adieu!” Tell people to “Get off my blog!” Pretend you’re paranoid and accuse other party goers of stalking you while accusing them of being NeoNazis. Misinterpret everything with disgust.

While at the party, grab newspapers and magazines and cut and paste all night long. Walk up to a group of people having a conversation and say something that has nothing to do about the topic, then leave.

Say something outrageous, and once someone agrees with you, then blatantly deny it. If anyone leaves the party early, encourage everyone to badmouth them.

Great fun. The possibilities are endless. Happy Halloween!

26 Comments on “Have A Mean Green Halloween”

  1. Dr. Rip Studwell says:

    Make sure to stuff your pockets with rotten fish and dog feces, that way you’ll smell like him too!

  2. Daedalus says:

    This will be a scary mask towards a party!

  3. nil stooge says:

    Too funny!!!

  4. Briareus says:

    The screenshot, complete with typo, came from here:

  5. doriangrey1 says:

    Shit, I wish I lived in a place where people knew who Chuck is so I could use that mask…

  6. BigFatJohnson says:


  7. ISpeakJive says:

    Or just put on the back-end of a horse costume. Same diffrence.

  8. My Little Ponytail says:

    There is no yuck but Chuck…

  9. doriangrey1 says:

    My Little Ponytail :
    There is no yuck but Chuck…

    And Ludwig is his profit….

    • Iron Fist says:

      You mean Ludwank is paying for LGF now? I didn’t think he was that desperate. Even Cato the Ogre told Chuck to go fuck himself on that dealie…

      • doriangrey1 says:

        No, I mean Ludwig “is” the profit… For all his work he get’s…. Ludwig… When I busted my ass at work, I bought a Corvette and a BMW, for all his work, chuck got Ludwig…

  10. snowcrash says:


  11. Arachne says:

    Man, Chunky has more chins than the San Francisco phonebook.

  12. Kirly says:

    omg. when i initially glanced at that picture i thought you were doing a CFnJ / Princess Leia morph gone bad thing.

  13. The Osprey says:

    My Little Ponytail :
    Make that Obami wan Kenyobi.

    Obanmi wan Johnsoni

  14. Grimcargo says:

    Gawwwwwwwwwwwww almighty that is ugly. But here he is on Dean Martin show when he was skinny.

  15. wolfie says:

    Briareus, this post is wonderfully funny! 😆 😆 😆

    • Briareus says:

      What’s really funny is that Charleee can’t figure out which lizard I am. I post almost every day there. (Ain’t that right, Honcos?!)

  16. Peersephonexoxo says:

    Ah the good old DoD….always filled with laughter. LMAO @ Obami wan Kenyobi Bwahahahahahahah