Break it! Now!

June 12, 2013

Charles Johnson claims to have  a big scoop. He has the pictures of Edward Snowden when he was modeling at 19 years old!

Big Break Big Break2 Big Break3 Big Break4 Big Break5 Big Break6 Big Break7 Big Break8 Big Break9

Here are the pictures that Charles thinks will put him back on the map.

Snowden Snowden2 Snowden3 Snowden4 Snowden5 Snowden6 Snowden7 Snowden8 Snowden10 Snowden11 Snowden12

Why does Charles think are these pictures a big deal? He really believes he’s one post away from being a player on the blogospehere again. In reality he comes across as a desperate jerk.

(Hat Tip: Gus)

Update: Reuters seems to have beaten Charles to the punch and has photos of Edward Snowden and his drawings.

For the record, we beat Charles on his exclusive!

Update II: Gus did this “exclusive” as a LGF page. Charles then realizes its not an exclusive!

Not an Exclusive2 Not an Exclusive3 Not an Exclusive4

Charles then gets no love on Twitter for posting these pictures.

Not an Exclusive5 Not an Exclusive6

Poor Charles, just like an aging musician trying to have a comeback hit, it ends up a flop. Charles Johnson continues to be a laughing stock and a failure.

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  1. dwells38
    June 12, 2013 at 7:57 pm | #1

    Yeah and of course it’s him. Are these people so stupid they can’t recognize the face of a young man without pondering it?

  2. swamprat
    June 12, 2013 at 8:06 pm | #2

    omg!
    lol!

    Wait. I actually don’t care.

    Maybe there are some old phone books with his name!
    That would be something.
    These pictures prove..uh they prove.. uh… something.

  3. Daedalus
    June 12, 2013 at 8:08 pm | #3

    Check the Update!
    :lol:

  4. Octopus
    June 12, 2013 at 8:21 pm | #4

    Just like the throbbing memo…not an exclusive, and not even your work, Fatass. FAIL! :lol:

    Penis penis penis LOL!

    • Daedalus
      June 12, 2013 at 8:21 pm | #5

      Another fail for Charles.

    • June 12, 2013 at 8:31 pm | #6

      Gary, you might want to check this out:

      http://www.sfgate.com/opinion/article/Eugenics-and-the-Nazis-the-California-2549771.php

      The author (Edwin Black) has two books you might want to read, “IBM and the Holocaust”, and, “War Against The Weak”.

      Might make some folks around here a tad unhappy…

      • Octopus
        June 12, 2013 at 8:47 pm | #7

        Studied up on eugenics back in college, Thomas. Degree in Psychology, and also English Lit (big whoop ;) ).

        Eugenics was a very hip thing for awhile, in certain circles. Led to some insane horror. Was started by Darwin’s cousin, and based on a misunderstanding of evolutionary theory. Seems like all the truly bad ideas get their start based on a germ of a good idea, that gets twisted by human error and fanaticism.

        Edwin Black is an interesting writer. I’ve read some of his articles, but not his books, as of yet. There are all kinds of historical theories out there regarding collusion with the Nazis, who weren’t always regarded as the satanic embodiment of evil they later came to represent.

      • Octopus
        June 12, 2013 at 8:58 pm | #8

        Might make some folks around here a tad unhappy…

        I wouldn’t worry about that, Thomas. People around here can handle a little controversy. They allow all kinds of beliefs in here, too, believe it or not. I’ve heard some crazy shit. Lot of dick-jokes, too. People love their penis humor. :lol:

      • Thomas de Bohun
        June 12, 2013 at 9:02 pm | #9

        The first one is Glenn Beck, and Edwin Black discussing “War Against the Weak”:

        *ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGvsvTGSPK4

        The second one is:

        Edwin Black discusses IBM and the Holocaust:

        *ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQPiub5Qyqw
        (Nipped the h off so that the spam filter doesn’t get tripped.)

  5. Octopus
    June 12, 2013 at 8:25 pm | #10

    EXCLUSIVE! BREAKING IT NOW!

    http://tinyurl.com/ljfps9b

    He went to high school. He took a senior photo. It looks like him. OMG!!!!1!!1!!PROOF!!

    • dwells38
      June 12, 2013 at 10:41 pm | #11

      KITTENZ!!!!!

  6. Octopus
    June 12, 2013 at 8:30 pm | #12

    ANOTHER EXCLUSIVE! BREAKING BAD!

    http://tinyurl.com/npatjou

    She is The Huntress. Secret identity finally revealed. HOT!!!!

  7. Octopus
    June 12, 2013 at 8:31 pm | #13

    Yes, she has a small clenis. So what? The better to hunt you with!

  8. livefreeor die
    June 12, 2013 at 8:31 pm | #14

    What the….
    How does Chunkles think this is a big deal? Eeek-there are PHOTOGRAPHS of Snowden!

    I hear he even has…A BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!!!!

  9. Medchemmer
    June 12, 2013 at 8:38 pm | #15

    Is he a complete idiot? We already know what Snowden looks like, so what makes pictures of him 10 years ago so exclusive to the story? Chunky just proves his desperation to be relevant again. How pathetic

  10. Kurt’s butt plug request. no not a fucking request. a demand goddamnit
    June 12, 2013 at 8:39 pm | #16

    GODDAMNIT CHARLES

    I want your big plug!!

    PS: Snowden looks an awful lot like our friend wind up bird, except of course he isn;t wearing a bird costume with a hole cut out in the cloaca

  11. Kurt’s hatred for Gus runs deep. Not chevy deep, but iceweasel cooze deeep
    June 12, 2013 at 8:44 pm | #17

    Teh mole
    Teh mole

    Charles, please tell me there is more to this than this. A mole?
    I’m sorry my liege, but is this some sort of silly joke.
    What do these photos have to do with anything? This is quite frankly fucking retarded.
    Did Gus make you fall for this?
    FUCKING GUS GETS ALL THE CREDIT FOR DOING NOTHING AND I AM DEVOTED TO YOU AND GET NADA. NOT EVEN AN UPDING OR A HAT TIP!

  12. Octopus
    June 12, 2013 at 8:51 pm | #18

    I’m with Kurt on this, Chunky. Why do you always give Gus all the credit? Why is Gus your favorite? We do far more, to help keep your site alive. We’re doing it right now, in fact. If it wasn’t for us, NOBODY would be talking about you.

    As for you, Gus…why don’t you just shut your whore mouth? SHUT IT! :mad:

  13. snowcrash
    June 12, 2013 at 8:52 pm | #19

    Is this supposed to mean anything other than more proof that Johnson is a protector of the status quo?

    • Daedalus
      June 12, 2013 at 9:07 pm | #20

      I have no clue. I think Charles believes he has a big break.

    • ISpeakJive
      June 12, 2013 at 9:57 pm | #21

      Wouldn’t that make him a reactionary? He’s always railing against them, but now he are one! Ha.

  14. Kurt’s 15 minutes starts right now!!
    June 12, 2013 at 8:54 pm | #22

    Charles

    Great news.
    EXCLUSIVE!!!!
    http://www.childrenscolorado.org/imgs/Housecalls/erythematoxicum_bs.jpg

    I found snowdens pic as a baby. if you look closely you can see his neck mole.
    this is important and proves he is a patriot and stopped terrorism!

    gimme dat plug
    gimme dat plug
    gimme dat pluggedy plug plug plug.
    Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

    • Octopus
      June 12, 2013 at 9:01 pm | #23

      The mole was on his belly, then! IT MOVED TO HIS NECK!! :shock:

      Burn the witch!!

  15. Kurt’s 15 minutes are flying by!
    June 12, 2013 at 9:00 pm | #24

    Charles
    I have sent those Snowden photos you got from that couch potato Gus, to our former friend and foot soldier, buckhead and he’s done an analysis and just replied to me

    ” there are multiple moles and not all of the moles are there all of the time, this is obviously mole fakery and the result of palestinians and Adobe photoshop clone tool”
    Buckhead also sent me this video that exposes fraudster gus. I say, THIS IS YOUR NEW TICKET TO FAME: The Snowden moles are FAKED WITH PHOTOSHOP!!
    Fuck you Gus you sleazeball drunkard

    • dwells38
      June 12, 2013 at 10:48 pm | #25

      Chunk sat on his ass and did nothing to produce that. That much is for sure.

  16. mrpaulrevere
    June 12, 2013 at 9:05 pm | #26

    This Snowden character sure does seem awfully impressed with himself, I mean who in the hell takes pictures like that? I guess I’m old school but this level of narcissism is alien to me.

    • ISpeakJive
      June 12, 2013 at 10:02 pm | #27

      Beats me. He’s not that great looking. He’s got a bit of young Frankenstein about him. And I get a gay vibe as well. NTTATWWT.

    • dwells38
      June 12, 2013 at 10:49 pm | #28

      yah but his girlfriend is sure hot. Must be doing something right to be hittin’ that.

  17. Octopus
    June 12, 2013 at 9:14 pm | #29

    BREAKING NOW! EXCLUSIVE DIARY OF DAEDALUS SCOOP!

    Blue people of Appalachia: http://tinyurl.com/pckcytt

    THEY’RE BLUE, GOLDANGIT!!1!

    • Because SSRI
      June 12, 2013 at 9:48 pm | #30

      They’re why Prozac was invented.

  18. Octopus
    June 12, 2013 at 9:22 pm | #31

    Hey, at least the NSA now knows the identity of the mole.

  19. Because Milyo Adieu
    June 12, 2013 at 9:38 pm | #32
  20. Thomas de Bohun
    June 12, 2013 at 9:41 pm | #33

    If Germany had only armed it’s soldiers with forklifts instead of rifles…. 8O

    • Octopus
      June 12, 2013 at 9:53 pm | #34

      3:45 – Obdicut’s Kraut Cousin :)

  21. Because Captain Hopenchange
    June 12, 2013 at 9:49 pm | #35
    • Octopus
      June 12, 2013 at 9:55 pm | #36

      It was right after Sir Lewd-Freak slew the Windmill-Beard Man, of course.

    • livefreeor die
      June 12, 2013 at 11:54 pm | #37

      Chunkles is the funny-”liberal values” :) :).
      What a jokester!

    • LGFisputrid
      June 12, 2013 at 11:55 pm | #38

      Poor doosh. You used to say that when you were duped. Psssst, probably happened around that same time it became a liberal ideal to support Moslem fanaticism while holding all other religions in contempt and free birth control became the highest of feminist values.

  22. Thomas de Bohun
    June 12, 2013 at 10:05 pm | #39

    Wednesday Night Korean Girl Band:

    • dwells38
      June 12, 2013 at 10:58 pm | #40

      They’re little babes. Takes like 3 of ‘em to make one Katy Perry.

      • June 12, 2013 at 11:13 pm | #41

        Considering how “thick” Ms. Perry is in more ways than one, I will not make “pointed” comments.

      • dwells38
        June 12, 2013 at 11:44 pm | #42

        :)

      • Octopus
        June 13, 2013 at 12:29 am | #43

        Katy’s 5’8″, and 130 lbs. In other words, perfect.

        H8ters gone h8.

      • dwells38
        June 13, 2013 at 9:37 am | #44

        I think Thomas was referring to Katy’s penchant for pointed booby contraptions.

        Eff U C K -aty, Teller that I love her…… and so on.

      • June 13, 2013 at 1:36 pm | #45

        Hey! Here’s some Asian action for ya! Warning: NSFW or the weak of heart. :smile:

        PS — It was a really good movie. Just sayin.

  23. swamprat
    June 12, 2013 at 11:35 pm | #46

    charles only acknowledges right wingnuts, does not understand that “wingnut” is a derogatory word that applies to extremists of either stripe

    I didn’t break away from the wingnut crowd just to join an equally absolutist movement on the left. 17 minutes ago

    You “didn’t break away from the wingnut crowd” at all. You went from a hard right wingnut to a really, really, far left wingnut.

  24. swamprat
    June 12, 2013 at 11:41 pm | #47

    Because Captain Hopenchange :

    When did it become a liberal value to believe that the US should not be able to keep any secrets at all?

    That would be during the Bush Administration, shortly after september 11, 2001.

  25. Because Lulz
    June 12, 2013 at 11:44 pm | #48
    • LGFisputrid
      June 12, 2013 at 11:57 pm | #49

      Poor fuckles, if you had any opinions of your own you’d be in better shape.

      • snowcrash
        June 13, 2013 at 11:15 am | #50

        Nuance is beyond him. He is the one who sounds most like an absolutist (look it up Johnson) adherent.

    • Daedalus
      June 13, 2013 at 12:02 am | #51

      Is he being misled again?

      Can we expect a I break with the Left post?

      Stay tuned.

      • livefreeor die
        June 13, 2013 at 12:05 am | #52

        He’s got to go for a fresh source of lizards-Cheetos’ costs add up.

  26. swamprat
    June 12, 2013 at 11:50 pm | #53

    Lizardoid’s Twitterwarrior Theatre

    You can be totally opposed to the Patriot Act and want more transparency about NSA programs, and still not support Greenwald and Snowden.

    <em.Yeah. That would make you like Glenn Beck, Alex Jones, David Icke and a host of others.

  27. Pakimon
    June 12, 2013 at 11:57 pm | #54

    Chunky isn’t an Obama loyalist and sycophant! No, really! He’s not! HE”S NOT!!! :lol: :lol:

    • LGFisputrid
      June 12, 2013 at 11:59 pm | #55

      Woah, remember when it was BO’s centrism that most appealed to fuck? That’s why he insisted the right was racist. Because BO was so center you had to be racist to not like him if you were right of center. Fuck you fatass.

      • dwells38
        June 13, 2013 at 9:43 am | #56

        Never mind that all his centrist talk were out and out lies. Which any idiot could guess based on his miniscule Senate record of far leftness. Frankly, this is a problem with democracy. When the populace is so ignorant that it votes based on an image and eschews any real facts that could affect their own well being, rights and future opportunities then maybe this little 250 yr experiment is about to fail.

    • livefreeor die
      June 13, 2013 at 12:03 am | #57

      Chunkles prepares to go libertarian, hoping they’ll have more money to throw his way than the current crop of losers he’s cultivated at his blog.

      • Because Lulz
        June 13, 2013 at 12:06 am | #58

        Yeah, I’m sure they guys who read Reason Magazine will just go flocking to LGF for the cool flash animations and web design techniques of something. :lol:

    • Because Lulz
      June 13, 2013 at 12:04 am | #59

      Did Chuckhead just admit that Obama’s a closet Marxist?

      • livefreeor die
        June 13, 2013 at 12:06 am | #60

        He seems to think that “the most liberal” and “progressive” are good things.
        Moron.

    • poteen2
      June 13, 2013 at 12:34 am | #61

      NEVER, NEVER turn your back on Obama!!!

      Or the Donkey Show. The results are always the same.

    • Voltaire’s Crack
      June 13, 2013 at 1:08 am | #62

      This needs to be filed for the next time he starts foaming that O is a centrist.

    • snowcrash
      June 13, 2013 at 11:30 am | #63

      hahaha You are defending Obama expanding George Bushes security policies. Fine. Good to know you adopt your positions based on loyalty to the President. Tool. I don’t know how I was so stupid as to spend one iota of time at at a blog run by someone with such knee jerk reactions.
      Man this NSA thing makes me crazy. Sorry DoD friends. I just can’t get over anyone defending mass surveillance because they think they are defending the President.

  28. Pakimon
    June 13, 2013 at 12:07 am | #64

    Look at Chunky flailing on Twitter (here comes my favorite analogy concerning Chunky and Twitter) like a fat kid being attacked by a swarm of angry bees.

    His breaking sooper scoop of a story blowing up in his face has driven him to new heights of peevishness and rage.

    Way to go Gus!

    We have you to thank for goading His Royal Chunkiness into making a complete fool of himself (again)

    • livefreeor die
      June 13, 2013 at 12:09 am | #65

      Gus, you might want to go off and drink some aftershave until the tantrum dies down.

    • Because Lulz
      June 13, 2013 at 12:16 am | #66

      More like Angry Birds.

  29. Pakimon
    June 13, 2013 at 12:13 am | #67

    If I were Gus, I’d watch my back and keep a low profile.

    Chunky isn’t going to forget that Gus was instrumental in this latest round of stinging butthurt.

    I see a midnight visit by Senor Testiculo sporting Asswhistle’s strap-on in Gus’ future :lol:

    • livefreeor die
      June 13, 2013 at 12:15 am | #68

      Dork is going to be so jealous!

      In the mean time, Chuckles is deciding whether to unveil a creationist thread or a Pamtrum.

      • Because Lulz
        June 13, 2013 at 12:18 am | #69

        Or…

    • livefreeor die
      June 13, 2013 at 12:22 am | #70

      Good thing he’s working on the Twitter feed. It’s worked SOOOOO well for him the last few days!

      Just a thought, Chunkles, but you might want to ay-lay off-tay ee-tay itter-Tway.

      • Because Lulz
        June 13, 2013 at 12:27 am | #71

        And the eetoes-che. And the other che, too.

  30. Thomas de Bohun
    June 13, 2013 at 12:45 am | #72

    Here’s a short film from 1970, called “Shake Hands With Danger”, which more than likely describes American Pop Princesses; and their diseases:

    Actually it is a Safety Film produced by Caterpillar. I am not commenting on the fact that there was a need for this for some reason 8O

  31. Bunk X
    June 13, 2013 at 1:11 am | #73

    Lol. The proletariat is speaking up.

    • Kurt’s giving
      June 13, 2013 at 1:22 am | #74

      ICYMI

      I give a fuck Charles

      • Bunk X
        June 13, 2013 at 2:35 am | #75

        I read it as, “Charles. Nobody gives a crap about your opinion.”
        [Oh hey! Looky! There's Pam!]

  32. Bunk X
    June 13, 2013 at 1:17 am | #76
  33. Bunk X
    June 13, 2013 at 2:30 am | #77
  34. Pakimon
    June 13, 2013 at 3:11 am | #78

    In other news:

    Chunkles Johnson Says He’ll Support NSA and Obama Mandates for Invasive Transvaginal Ultrasounds of Everyones phone calls and E-Mails and Close their Right to Privacy.

    • Because Lulz
      June 13, 2013 at 11:24 am | #79

      Yeah, I used to get transvaginal emails, but then I tweaked my spam blocker. I still get the occasional penis penis penis lol enlargement email, though.

  35. Pakimon
    June 13, 2013 at 3:12 am | #80

    Crap – posted wrong Tweet.

    • Bunk X
      June 13, 2013 at 3:25 am | #81

      Chuck has been faskinated with those transvaginal probes since he first heard about them. They’re a high-tech replacement for an obstetrician’s finger. A colonoscopy is more invasive.
      Charles is anti-science.

      • Because Lulz
        June 13, 2013 at 9:21 am | #82

        It’s like he has nightmares about being abducted by Republicans who probe his mangina or something.

  36. Bunk X
    June 13, 2013 at 4:06 am | #83
    • St. Pancake
      June 13, 2013 at 4:47 am | #84

      His folds of fat impede identification. weiner weiner weiner lol

  37. St. Pancake
    June 13, 2013 at 4:42 am | #85

    You’re welcome Gus, ILLEGAL alien deadbeat, searching google on a tax payer funded computer

  38. Pakimon
    June 13, 2013 at 5:16 am | #86

    Looks like a case of massive stinging butthurt has caused Chunky to have a sleepless night. :lol:

  39. Pakimon
    June 13, 2013 at 5:21 am | #87

    The soothing rumpswab of neo-nazis should help should ease the aches in his massive buttocks, right?

    • snowcrash
      June 13, 2013 at 11:47 am | #88

      Is he stupid? It is about indiscriminate government spying. Stop with your simpleton labels. Stop with your shitbird Nazi preoccupation. Stop with your focus on the messenger. It’s the NSA, stupid. Use your twitter influence for good, instead of immoral support of illegal government acts.
      Yeah, I’m a crazy Libertarian over this one.

  40. Pakimon
    June 13, 2013 at 5:29 am | #89

    Wrong! The stinging butthurt! It still burns!

    Better break out some of that Cato Institute/Koch Bros brand rumpswab with libertarian lanolin and GWB war aloe!

  41. Pakimon
    June 13, 2013 at 5:49 am | #90

    And on into the night The Chunkster prattles on Twitter, trying to exorcise the Greenwald demons that continue to paddle his immense ass.

    Chunky might need a Trans Buttockinal Ultrasound before this is through… :lol:

    • Pakimon
      June 13, 2013 at 6:56 am | #91

      As an aside:

      The MSNBC (The go-to “news” channel of Choomster worshipping sycophants everywhere) show where Chunky says Greenwald let slip his nefarious scheme to discredit The LightBringer and The Internet’s most Corpulent Jazzy Ponytail stars Chris Hayes.

      You know Chris Hayes?

      He’s the assclown who claimed Gov. George Wallace was a Republican.

      http://tinyurl.com/pyzqx5l

      I’m surprised that the interweb’s most celebrated Race Detective™ would regard him as a credible…well…anything.

      Actually I’m not surprised…… :lol:

  42. Pakimon
    June 13, 2013 at 5:53 am | #92

    As a change of pace, Let’s play:

    Name That Bog Sycophant! :lol:

    • Octopus
      June 13, 2013 at 10:08 am | #93

      What. A. Tool. :roll:

      He’d be a celeb at LGF. Unfortunately, he’s probably never heard of it, unless it was in the old days when Proggies had Chunky on the Hate List.

  43. Because Lulz
    June 13, 2013 at 9:32 am | #94

    Aha! Another Nazi!

    • Octopus
      June 13, 2013 at 10:11 am | #95

      He’s digging through the Libturd Rank & Vile to find attacks on Greenwald, so he can tweet them out. Nice reportage, Fatass! Really shedding light on the whole NSA controversy, with an obsessive stalk-job of a lightly-regarded old expatriate queen. :lol:

    • Because Lulz
      June 13, 2013 at 10:58 am | #96

      The ‘out’ article is from April, 2011. That’s some real breaking milyo there.

    • June 13, 2013 at 11:05 am | #97

      He’s so freaking predictable, something bad reported about Pres. Obama? Attack the messenger. It’s rather funny.
      Hey, Charles, let me back in so we can discuss this, or discuss it here. C’mon, I’m just a silly wing-nut, you’ll be able to out-logic me…right?

      • Because Lulz
        June 13, 2013 at 11:26 am | #98

        You don’t want to be backing in to ‘out’ magazine. Thar be monsters there.

    • ISpeakJive
      June 13, 2013 at 11:37 am | #99

      Man, he’s been tweeting until almost 3 in the morning this week, then he’s back up at 7 am to go at it again. He’s single-minded, almost obsessed that the world be informed he doesn’t like Glenn Greenwald. Why, oh why isn’t anybody listening to him!?!?

  44. Octopus
    June 13, 2013 at 10:13 am | #100

    Grudging congrats to the Blackhawks, who kept me up half the night with their triple-OT win over Boston. ;)

    • snowcrash
      June 13, 2013 at 11:49 am | #101

      Me too. Disappointing loss. I am not going to blame it on that bad long pass by Krug, though. I like the rookie.

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